Hi. My name is Kevin. Kevin "icylover" Elliott. Why the icylover? Well...I love cock.
Anyway.
I used to love Apple products. Then one day, a guy in the office bought a HTC Desire. I cant lie. I am jealous. It is a real phone compared to the mamby pamby bullshit I use on a daily basis. Another guy in the office...well...I suckered him in to buying one of my old shitty worthless phones. Lets call it an "iPhone 3". He loved it at first. Well, until he realised there were real phones out there. Phones that do what he wants them to. But it is OK, I explained to him. The only thing you need to do is "Buy an app for 59p!". So far, I have spent £3329 and I can now save email attachments. Oh. No I cant. Sorry, I better go looking for an app.
But anyway. I have an iPad too. It is awesome. By awesome, I obviously mean utter shit. I wish I had a HTC Desire but I am not man enough as I mentioned earlier.
Anyway, thats me. The icy lover. I am hoping you continue reading my future posts so you can be as bored shitless with my Apple ramblings as my poor work colleagues are.
Love and kisses,
Kev.
P.S - I may have on occassion mentioned that I would swallow Steve Jobs Jizz.
This is Bullshit Lies -It is a serious case of slander so Simon Hughes will be hearing from my solicitors!!
ReplyDeleteA very angry Icey-Lover
I dont know what you mean...Who are you? IMPOSTER!
ReplyDeleteWhy say that you are the original Icy lover? I AM THE ICY LOVER! HEAR ME ROAR!!!!
This Icy-Lover sounds like he needs to spend a bit of time with a real man...errr i mean phone! I hear another of his colleagues has just transferred his Apple love to HTC. I hear he's usually up for a bit of bum love too! ;-0
ReplyDeleteNow you have admitted that you robbed me can i have my money back for the following reasons
ReplyDelete1)Unable to download Audio Attachments
2)no weekly calender View
3)Semen stains on phone
4)Photo Album full of she-males in compromising situations with apple products
5)Battery Power
6)You made me add you as a friend and won't stop poking me !!!
7)Can't create Photo folders on the fly.
The man carries 2k's worth of apple products in his Handbag.....on the odd occassions when he leaves his apple temple of worship errr home....lives in Croydon.....who would dare come out of the house in Croydon carrying all that shit.....now he is OUT now .....feeling the love
ReplyDeleteThis is the real Icey lover!!! Its me cos I have a very large cock. If your reading this Steve I know all their addresses. The anonymous person is the one that wants to visit the factory (If you Know What I mean Steve, his name is Mark Armstrong - Recommend its slow a painful. Might be worth bringing Zed & the Gimp!!
ReplyDeleteKevin Elliott, the Icey Lover from Croydon? Hey, hows it going buddy. You told me if you beat me at FIFA, you would come and beat over me? WTF happened man, I'm still waiting for that tackle from behind you promised!!
ReplyDeleteWhen you next online? I bet ya dont come on cam wearing just the Arsenal top again hahaha pervert!
Anyway mate, nice hearing from ya.
John-John
Hi Kevin it’s me Michael, the guy talking to on the train last Monday about the iPad, anyway I took your advice and bought one. Tbh I regret the day I bought it, I paid for the 3G + WIFI version as you said but I have found out you can just use WIFI. I managed to finally sync it with my Laptop and then lost all my Calendars, without a backup. I wanted to write more complaints against the iPad you recommended, but it makes me so angry I have wasted all this money!
ReplyDeleteI found you using Google search on this forum and want to let everyone know I think you info is utter rubbish and you should stop spreading "the world according to Jobs" all the time.
No doubt you will see me on the train again, well that is until I walk past you. If you say "Hello" I might over react and do something stupid, so be warned!
Richard
What this site needs is a Kev's App of the Day.. you know the one you have to spend at least 59p on that came as standard on other handsets, especially the Nokia handsets from the late 90's early 00's.. for freeeeeeee. e.g. organising pictures/photos into folders on the fly. Being able to zoom/auto-select flash when using the camera camera.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have friends and relatives who all say they want an iPad, but none can tell me why they want one. They all have laptops and bookshelves. It's as if they've been brainwashed by a cult (sorry for using the c word) Can you tell me, what's the actual point of an iFad?
Matt
"camera camera" sorry, must have gone into rant mode!
ReplyDeleteand Kev, what are you doing south of the river in the badlands of croydon in an Arsenal shirt?
oh dear...Iceman...whats going on....
ReplyDeletehttp://tiny.cc/swcey
I dunno, the iPad looks like a great product from Apple, seems designed just for Kev after all Stevie J has done to him
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L68aKVAzwQ4
Do you feel a little flow?